personal branding - be aggressive or become misunderstood?
I was thinking along these lines in job hunting situations, but in fact I can see that a lot of my life has been effected by not doing this!
Ok, so what am I talking about`? The key to personal branding is not letting other people decide your communication - you take control of that you stand for infront of an audience and not let
1. there be room for too much interpretation
2. some in the audience decide for you in front of the rest
I have been very good at 'finding enemies', probably as a kind of confrontational, masochistic trait maybe emanating from being bullied at school and being snob-bullied by my friends. What the wise do is look for friends in an audience and over come an enemies' ability to influence others on "your behalf". In an audience I would roll over and let the enemy tickle my tummy or bite me round the throat!
I know what it is to be an enemy in an audience, because I am a sceptic and also because I get all 'trassy' in some situations where I am being put out of the comfort zone. When I look at the likes of James Hosea, they very open handedly ignore or give a slighting glance to me as the detractor, while continuing to stream in their message to the key listener(s).
Beyond this point of seeking out the freinds, the real pivot point in becoming more assertive is to be able to be able to stand your guns three times.
Previously I have thought of this as being incoming- say no three times with eye contact. Also to use this stand point to neutralise an aggressive or domineering stance from the said manager and to bring them back down off their horse to the negotiating table.
But there is more to this- it is about being offensive too- In telesales you should quietly and assertively make three propositions to continue talking. The same in job applications, open-on spec' that is, you should NOT be palmed off into sending your CV without a meeting. In wanting to do something do not get put off, ask why you are being put off ! Go back in and only finally agree to postpone it, thus they may say "oh, ok then, let's run it up the flag pole'...
I still have a long way to go in the passivity- aggressive bi polar behaviour cycle to coe to a centre line of assertiveness. Shifting language and culture has not helped, but at least here people are more direct and expect a little more hard ball language up front, or ar even more easily disarmed by "stick to your guns three times" methods.
fredag 6. november 2009
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